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Remove ads Ads by TrafficFactory. BM Chihiro2 4 x p 5 min Wasteland - No law says that nice guys never fuck their girlfriends in the ass or tell their girlfriends to strip and masturbate in front of them.

It's about learning what you like, learning what she likes, and creating a scene that brings you both pleasure; being a nice guy means being willing to explore avenues that bring joy to your partner's life!

More than that, though; by exploring your fantasies and your partner's fantasies, you create a deep intimacy that's hard to beat.

This kind of exploration, and sharing of fantasies and sexual feelings, helps form a bond of intimacy and trust that's at once more romantic and more passionate than you may believe.

And the pleasure to be gained simply from seeing your partner eager to service you and submit to your desires shouldn't be discounted, either To do this, though, you may need to unlearn some things about what "nice guys" do and feel.

Women are individuals; focus on what the woman you're with wants rather than what "women want. In extreme cases, "nice guy syndrome" can make you feel uncomfortable seeing your partner as a sexual being at all.

But human beings are sexual beings, and it's hard to imagine anyone who doesn't want to be seen as sexually attractive by her mate; seeing your partner in a sexual light is not only healthy, it's an important part of any sexual relationship!

As with most things, you begin simply. Sex in general and BDSM in particular are learned skills; like all learned skills, you learn by doing.

Start slow, learn what you and your partner like and don't like, and elaborate on the things you learn as you go along. The best way to get started exploring BDSM is by talking to your partner.

Discuss your fantasies and her fantasies; don't worry about whether or not those fantasies are things you would really explore or not, or even if they're things that are plausible or feasible.

You're just talking about the things that turn you on, no matter how outlandish or how kinky they may be. Don't be timid, embarrassed, or ashamed, even of fantasies that seem extreme or frightening; these are fantasies, after all, not reality.

Even extreme fantasies that you would never consider doing in real life can provide ideas or suggestions about places to explore, or things that turn you on!

Let's say, for example, that your partner has fantasies about being tied up and molested. You can start to explore by trying some light bondage or restraint; no need to go all-out, just start by holding her down or tying her arms with ordinary rope.

If things go well, you may discover that you want to go farther next time, or you may come up with new ideas to try. And who knows? You may just find that it really turns you on At this point, it's probably worthwhile to discuss a few general guidelines as you start exploring this stuff.

Some things to remember:. Don't do too much, too fast. You have plenty of time! You're exploring what turns you on, what turns your partner on, and what you can create together; it's far better to end a scene thinking you could have gone farther than ending a scene thinking you've gone too far!

Spend some time talking about how you felt, how she felt, what turned you on, and what things you might want to explore later. Remember, whenever you try anything new, you will sometimes find things that you or your partner respond to in ways you didn't expect.

You may even find that something you thought you'd like, or something she thought she'd like, triggers a negative reaction that you didn't anticipate.

There's nothing wrong with that; you're exploring. By definition, when you explore, you don't always know what you'll find!

If you discover something that you don't like, or that didn't go the way you expected, it's okay; you've learned from it, and now you have greater knowledge about how to please yourself and your partner.

If you find that you respond to taking charge in the bedroom, and your partner responds to being dominated, great! You're both happy; enjoy yourselves!

Besides, it's much more fun to submit to a person who enjoys being dominant. It works both ways; you can take pleasure from pleasing your partner, and she can take pleasure from pleasing you.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you know what you're doing, or if things don't always go the way you wanted them to; it doesn't matter if you're uncertain about something you're trying.

All this is normal. What does matter is that you project an air of confidence and control; just this alone can get you through a number of problems.

You forget something? Something not working right? Smile and keep going anyway; chances are, she'll never even notice. Remember, you're playing a role; project confidence even if you don't feel it, and you'll do okay.

The best single safety tool you have is your common sense. Watch for problems; don't leave someone tied up unattended, don't try devices or gadgets on your partner if you don't have a sense of how they feel yourself.

Ah, that's a bit tricky. Things are not always what they seem; there's a big difference between erotic pain and ordinary, garden-variety pain.

The experience of pain in an erotic context, for someone who's wired that way, is nothing like what you may imagine; it's an incredible rush, that adds a powerful spice to sexual pleasure.

Think of it like spice in chili; you might not like taking a bite out of a hot pepper, but in the right amount, it makes the chili a whole lot better Even things that look extreme, such as flogging or whipping, can be deceptive.

These things don't feel like you imagine they do, and in the right environment with the right warmup, they're wonderful. And once your partner's endorphins, the natural painkilling chemicals produced in the brain, get going, it's the most intense, delightful high you can ever believe.

Of course, pain play is something you want to explore slowly. You don't jump right into it; it takes time and practice to learn where your partner's limits are, and how your partner responds to things like spanking.

But don't be so afraid of anything that looks painful--your partner is less fragile than you might think, and in the right setting, pain is both a powerful aphrodesiac and a tremendously pleasureable high.

Pay attention, go slow, and you're not going to hurt her. As with many aspects of BDSM, pain is not always what it seems If you are worried about hurting your partner for real in a not-fun kind of way, it's easy with a little practice to calm that fear.

It's really just question of paying close attention to your partner, noticing the way that she responds, and keeping communication open.

When you start out, ask for feedback. Pay attention to what you're doing, and pay attention to how she responds.

As you get to know what your partner likes, you'll find that you learn to gauge what you're doing and you learn how much is too much, and how much is "just right.

You can get a bit of my own perspective on pain play, if you'd like, here. She wants me to boss her around! Men aren't supposed to do that to women.

Men aren't supposed to do that to women non-consensually. Men aren't supposed to assume that they can automatically tell women what to do and expect women to hop to it; that's chauvanistic.

It's not the same, though, when your partner wants you to tell her what to do. Sometimes, it's a lot of fun to have your partner say "Okay, I want you to strip and lie down with your legs spread," or whatever.

It's fun to surrender to your partner and let your partner call the shots, as long as you both understand that you're doing it because it's a fun way to mix things up in the bedroom rather than because it's something that all women should always do for all men.

Remember, if you were to start bossing around every woman you meet, that would be disrespectful; not all women want to be bossed around, after all.

But if your partner wants you to boss her around because it's fun, then thre's nothing disrespectful about it; respect is in asking people what they want, and then doing the things that bring them pleasure and bring you closer together.

Whenever you let ideas about what men are "supposed" to do, you run into trouble. The problem with thinking that men are "supposed" to not be in control is the same as the problem with thinking that men are "supposed" to always be in control--it ignores that different women have different tastes and different desires.

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